This isn't meant as some kind of authoritative "do all of these or your show will suck" list. These are things I’ve noticed either as a fan, or as a writer, which I do have some real experience in. Just about all of these points can be summed up in a single word:
Think.
Ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing, and if there’s a way to do it better. A lot of shows don’t seem to do this, don’t realize they can put a little more effort in and come out with something better.
I’m not trying to boss anyone around here. I’m trying to make you ask questions you haven’t thought about before.
#10: Find Your Hook[]
Maybe your camera’s quality is terrible. Maybe you can only film in your bedroom. Maybe you don’t have a tail, just a cleverly-wrapped blanket. Maybe there’s nobody for you to film with. Maybe you only have a few hours to film six episodes before your friend has to take the three-hour drive home. Maybe all of these things are true.
Okay, then, you know your weaknesses. Now, what are your strengths? What do you have that makes your show worth watching? Is it your clever plot? Is it your cool special effects? Is it your acting? Do you have a swimming pool you can splash around in as a mermaid whenever you want?
Rely on your strengths and avoid your weaknesses. If you only have a bathtub for your moon pool, but you do have an underwater camera, play around with shots and angles to make it look less bathroom-y. If you don’t have a tail, but you have awesome computer effects, use your powers to dry off really, really quickly.
You may not be able to create a perfect show, but if you find something good you can do, and build on that, you’ll be off to a fine start. You’ll stand out from the crowd of people filming mermaid shows because they’re bored and don’t care.
#9: Act and React[]
Mermaid characters have a tendency to be rather . . . bland. It’s really hard to pick out any defining character traits, because the mermaids are generically nice, maybe a little feisty. They just do whatever the plot demands. This is probably why I tend to like bad characters in these shows—at least they’re proactive and have clear goals.
Now, the reason this is so high on the list is 1) you can still be engaging without being a clearly-defined character, and 2) acting isn’t easy, so it’s not an entirely fair demand. However, it would be nice to see a little more thought put into this element. After all, ultimately a story is only as interesting as the characters in it. A good character can save a weak story; a boring one can sink it.
Just for starters, work out how your character acts when she’s happy, when she’s sad, or when she’s angry, and what she ultimately wants. Maybe come up with a profile, if that kind of thing helps you. Instead of just writing your plot and forcing your character to do what it needs, ask “how would she react if she was put in this situation?” and go from there. Whatever works for you, just put some thought into it.
#8: Go Play Outside[]
Yeah, you lose control of the lighting (though most people don’t think about that anyway), and you might get some ambient noise, but it looks a lot better for you to find your magical moon pool outside than in your bedroom.
The reason this is so high on the list is that sometimes being outside isn’t really doable, depending on the situation. But I wish more people would at least consider it. You don’t have to live in a wild wonderland to get some nice shots out of doors.
#7: Scientists Cannot Dissect You[]
Seriously, people will protest if a company uses animals to test makeup. Nobody in their right mind would let scientists chop up actual children who just happen to have tails. If the Human Rights Watch didn’t kill them, PETA would. Also we have X-rays and MRI scans now, so dissection isn’t really a good first option. It’ll cause damage to a valuable specimen, never mind possible murder charges or at least traumatizing someone who’s basically a superhero and really shouldn’t be so scared of them anyway.
Having a particular corrupt scientist is fine—just don’t demonize all scientists and assume you’re going to be dissected. Plus there are other, more legal things they could do to you, like put a bunch of restrictions on what you can do or where you can go, or keep you in a lab doing long, tiring tests instead of hanging out with your friends or going to school.
Or you could come up with some other, more creative way for scientists to be something you have to avoid—maybe an MRI scanner will make your powers go out of control, or the evil Sirens have infiltrated the laboratory. Just put a little thought into this idea, make it uniquely yours.
#6: Stop Acting So Suspicious[]
Way too many mermaids will get ludicrously paranoid when people talk about things like mermaids, swimming or odd behavior. I mean, ridiculously bad acting and the kinds of answers no normal person would ever give. How hard is it to say “I don’t feel like swimming today, I have X project I want to finish”? Also, it’s totally normal to go change your shirt after someone else spilled on it, or find a towel. Just say that before you run off and pop your tail, nobody will bat an eye.
Or, think about what your character would do in this situation. After all, every character is different, they should react in different ways. If you have a tough tomboy, she might act aggressive and angry to anyone who seemed suspicious. If you’ve got a merman who’s embarrassed by the whole thing, he could try to insist that he’s actually a Naga or part-dragon or something “cooler.” Make your reaction unique and fitting for the mermaid (or merman) it’s happening to.
(You know what I’d like to see? Someone who gets walked in on, and just acts like nothing is wrong. Like, doesn’t even acknowledge that they have a tail and act like the other person’s being rude when they mention it. That would be funny.)
#5: Don’t Act Like a Toddler[]
When was the last time you found a bottle of oddly colored liquid lying on the ground and decided “I should put that in my mouth?” Probably when you were five. Since then you’ve learned that some liquids aren’t safe to drink—especially ones that you find in unmarked bottles, lying on the side of the road.
This is really bad for mermaids who already know they have enemies, ones who know how to make potions, and still drink whatever substances they happen to find. It never works out. Show a little common sense for once.
#4: Lay off the Powers[]
This is both a story issue and a practical one. If you give your character a ton of superpowers, it’s going to be really hard to make anything dramatic happen to her later unless you get rid of them. She pops a tail in public? No problem, give her a minute and she can steam-dry it away. Evil scientists are after her? She can freeze the water around their boat and lock them in place while she flees.
Practically, superpowers are hard to do well. Actually, they’re just hard to do, period. You’d be saving yourself a lot of time on special effects if you just didn’t give your mermaids any. After all, mermaids in mythology didn’t have a whole lot of superpowers—usually they could bring good fortune, or maybe prophesy or hypnotize people with their siren songs. All nice and low-budget.
#3: Crowd and Leap[]
You’ve heard of the phrase “Show, Don’t Tell”? I’ll get into that later in the list, but right now I’d like to introduce you to its less well-known cousin, “Crowding and Leaping”. Crowding is when you put as much important stuff into a scene as possible—exposition, characterization, atmosphere, mood, and so on. Leaping is when you skip over unimportant things. What you leave out is just as important as what you keep in.
This brings me to something that most shows don’t really pay attention to: editing. In most shows, editing only comes up in one scenario, and that’s the montage.
A montage, or series of clips put to music, is not just something to make an episode longer. It has to be interesting to look at, and important enough that it needs to be shown. “Friends goofing off” is not interesting to look at. “Doing my morning routine” is also not interesting to look at. It feels like you left the camera running.
This goes for editing in general as well. If your character is doing something mundane, show only what we need to see to understand, and we can fill in the rest. Instead of this:
One long shot shows a car pull into a driveway, the character climb out, walk to the front door and go inside.
Try something like this:
A car pulls into a driveway, and the door opens. Cut to the character already out of the car and walking up the drive towards the house. Cut to the character opening the door.
That way, you leap over boring everyday activity and crowd in the meat of your show—the plot and the characters.
#2: Shut Up[]
Imagine a person who acted like this in real life:
“Time to do my homework. Oh man, this homework is so boring, I’m super bored! I’m thirsty, I think I’ll get a drink of water. Oh no! I spilled water all over myself! My favorite shirt is all wet! That makes me so annoyed . . .”
Is that normal? No. Real people don’t narrate everything they’re doing all the time, and they hardly ever just say outright how they feel. Also, this way of introducing information doesn’t work very well emotionally either.
Quick quiz, which one of the following two lines sounds more like someone who’s upset?
Person A:
“I don’t want to go shopping, I’m still sad because my Mom is dead.”
Person B:
“I don’t really feel like shopping right now. No, it won’t take my mind off it, she loved shopping—no, no, I’m okay; I just need some time alone right now.”
Also, you notice anything else about Person B? She and her mother probably used to shop together a lot, and she’d rather be alone and avoid anything that reminds her of that than hang out with her friends and distract herself. She’s probably an introvert. The only thing we know about Person A is that she is sad because her Mom died.
(Another point that should be a lot more “duh”: losing a loved one hurts, and so does talking about it, even if it doesn’t make things awkward, though it usually does that too.)
#1: Put. The. Camera. Down[]
The most common problem I find in mermaid shows, especially the kind with only one person, is that they’re filmed in shaky cam. Now, shaky cam doesn’t have to be bad, but in mermaid shows it usually is because they don’t understand how it’s supposed to work.
Normally with a film you can trick your brain into thinking you’re just seeing what’s happening, because the camera acts like your vision and basically holds still. When the camera shakes and moves around, it makes everything slightly unsettling, even dizzy. That’s why it’s used for things like showing what a guy running through the jungle is seeing. It’s also common in documentaries, where the wobbling reminds you that someone is trying to film dangerous stuff without getting killed, so they don’t have the time to hold the camera steady.
Short version: when you use shaky cam, your audience is constantly reminded that the camera is there, because it keeps moving the way their eyes usually don’t.
If none of the characters in the scene actually are dealing with a camera, you’re just making it harder for the audience to get into your story. They have to focus harder to believe the world you’re creating, because in that world, there isn’t supposed to be a camera.
By waving your camera around, you might make things a little easier for yourself, but you’re forcing your audience to work. Some of them won’t think your show is worth the effort—I mean, if you didn’t care enough to take a minute or two and set up your shot, do you care about anything in the shot?
Also, whether the camera is shaky or steady, you still have to point it at the most interesting thing going on. If I spend half an episode staring at your feet, your neck, up your nose or at your carpet, that is bad. It’s also super boring, and no, adding music will not fix it.